Well, another two hour segment, another blog... Man it's boring waiting for classes to be over. Speaking of class...
So far these weeks have been really crazy. I've missed a total of at least three assignments already and I traced the problem back to how bad I was at remembering assignments back in high school. SO I've had to rework the way I keep track of stuff... Sticky Notes! Yes, that's right, I've turned into my mother... I can't beleive it. I really wish I could find a better way, but there really isn't. I just wish I could make up those missed assignments, but as you all know, I'm really bad at talking to teachers. College is SO different from High School.

Current Sticky Notes: (I might do this from time to time)
1. How to get into my voice mail
2. Assignments for RESC 220 (class today)
3. Info on a possible Halloween dance here in Chapman
4. Steven's Phone Number, Dr. G's Phone Number
5. Reminder to send Amber a copy of my Cd (and a dropkick murphy copy)
Attached to that: Reminder of Flogging Molly Concert on Oct. 9
Attached to that: Reminder to meet Steve to pay him for mixing the CD.

I don't know if I'll be doing that every day, probably just when I add a new one. Speaking of which, while writing this post I got some info of the concert and put another sticky note up. God I hate being like my mother...

I guess it's like what I said earlier... I'm everyone of my parents faults rolled into one person. I've got ADHD, bad memory, some kind of heart valve thing (it's not serious, for some reason it could become infected while I'm at the dentist. How I have no idea.) I also have boney knuckles, a shorter that normal tongue, motor control problems...

Yeah, that's right. A while back I figured out that I am, in fact, an artist. I like to make art, the only problem is my lower than average motor skills gives me clumsy hands and horrible handwriting. Sure, I do my best, but it's not nearly enough, considering I never took lessons in art since I was felt I wasn't good enough. Basically over the last two weeks I've figured out a lot about me. I would tell you guys what I've learned but right now my thoughts are quiet together yet.

I miss Ian. I really do. I've never missed anyone quite this much, I jsut feel empty inside. I miss him. I miss his querks, I miss the fun we had, how much we goofed around and didn't care what anyone thought. I miss the band, it was something I was proud of, something a lot of people were proud of. What do I have now that people are proud of? Nothing. No one cares what you did in high school, no one cares that you wrote, directed and acted in your own play. No one cares your into Neopets (by the way I've started to drift away from neopets for some reason. I just can't get into it anymore, I'm far too busy with school work and my current projects) No one cares about my crazy best friend who I found naked my closet that one time. I really miss him, I wish he was still here, I wish he was going to BGSU. If he was we would have hung out everyday, tried out forever play together. Had fun, like we used to... Ian.... Ian was the kind of friend that was just... Unusual. That's what I loved about him, he was different than any other friend I had ever had. No matter what happened you could always count on Ian to do something either really crazy like not bathing for a month just to impress Rachel or something beuatiful like writing a song about his feelings. That's something I cannot do, express my true feelings. I was always envisous of Ian's songs. They were so emotional, they had a message behind them and each one was unique in it's own way. I think if I start another band I'm going to do a few covers of Insane Logic. Which ones I'd do I don't know, I like them all so much. I think the one song I won't do is New Macdonald, it's just becuase it's me and Ian's song. We are the two people that should do it, whether more people sing it or not, Ian and I should be there. BOTH of us.

I'm sorry this is going so long, I just can't seem to find a good stopping point. There's so much I want to put in, but by the time I get to it I've forgotten what I wanted to say. You know, it's funny, back in my senoir year, I never thought I had anything to put in this blog, and even in the summer I hardly put anythign on here but what was MOST important. Now all I want to put in here is the small things, like a real diary I guess. I want to recite my entire day to every detail and I really don't know why. All I know is that I've been becoming increasingly depressed, reading all my friends blogs and writing in my own. Everyone is depressed (except maybe Amber) and all their sadness just makes me realize how miserable I am. Take my brother's blog, http://www.bonelesssboarder.blogspot.com just go there and read it. He talking about how much of a loser he is, and you know, if you're a good friend (brother) you'd be able to tell him he's wrong about himself, but I just can't. He's right, he's lost the person he was... He's become part of this machine, he's no longer an individual on the outside. He just works and sleeps and eats, nothing more. He used to hang out with his skater friends ALL the time, doing who knows what and being out until sometimes early in the morning. Now... Now he works most of the day, sleeps and has only 2 to 3 hours of time to do anything else. I didn't like the old matt, becuase he was never around when all I did was stay home all day. I didn't like him, but now he's never home. At least he was having fun before, now he just works.... I starting to miss my brother...